prologue

Chapter 9 - The Trial of the Heart

The apartment on Forty-eighth Street in Sunnyside smelled of old cabbage, radiator paint, and the damp wool coats of the three families who lived on the landing below.

It was nine o'clock on Saturday night.

Julian Cross stood in the middle of the eleven-by-twelve kitchen, his charcoal cashmere overcoat hanging from the back of a chrome dinette chair that had lost one of its black rubber feet, replaced by a folded coaster from an Irish bar on Queens Boulevard.

His head almost cleared the ceiling. If he stood entirely straight, his dark hair brushed the paper shade of the sixty-watt bulb that hung from a twisted cloth cord above the sink.

Nora was kneeling on the linoleum, packing an old Samsonite suitcase that had belonged to her father. It was the color of split split-peas, with rusted brass catches that only closed if you hit them with the heel of a shoe.

Ivy sat on the kitchen counter beside the dish rack, her legs swinging against the pale yellow laminate of the cupboards. She was eating an apple that Julian had peeled for her with his pocketknife, her small teeth leaving neat, white crescents in the fruit.

“The big car has a television in the seat,” Ivy told the refrigerator.

“I know, bug,” Nora said without looking up from the suitcase. She was folding three pairs of toddler leggings that were worn thin at the knees, the cotton gray from the laundromat water.

“Does the big house have a refrigerator with the ice that comes out of the door?”

“Yes,” Julian said from the corner.

Ivy took another bite. “I like the ice that comes out of the door. It sounds like a dog barking.”

Julian looked down at the suitcase.

There were six shirts for Nora, three pairs of jeans, a framed photograph of Donald Vance standing in front of a blue Ford pickup with a dead deer tied to the bumper, and a small, rusted tin box with a picture of King George VI on the lid.

“You don't need to take the clothes,” Julian said softly.

Nora stopped. Her hands remained on the folded leggings. She did not look up at him; she looked at the brown linoleum between her knees, where forty years of different tenants had worn a dark path from the stove to the sink.

“These are my clothes, Julian,” she said.

“I know.”

“I’m not your wife,” Nora said. Her voice was not angry; it had that quiet, terrifying clarity that had lived in her throat since the day she pulled the baby out of the Esopus. “I’m not a Montgomery. I don't know how to talk to people who have two different forks for the fish. I don't know what to say when your friends ask me what club my father belonged to.”

Julian walked across the small kitchen.

The linoleum creaked under his weight—a sharp, domestic sound that had never once been heard on the fifty-second floor of the Manhattan tower. He reached down, took the folded leggings from her hands, and set them back on the chrome table beside his coat.

Then he took both of her wrists and pulled her slowly to her feet.

She was strong, but she did not fight him. She rose until her eyes were level with the hollow of his throat, her brother’s green sweater hanging loose and heavy between them.

“My friends are dead,” Julian whispered. “They died the day that car hit the cedar posts. The people who came to that apartment after Elena died weren't friends, Nora. They were auditors. They were people who wanted to see if the machine would still make money while the gears were full of blood.”

He reached up his right hand and touched her cheek.

His skin was smooth, smelling of expensive sandalwood soap and the cold air of the street; her skin was rough, slightly chapped at the high point of the bone, with three tiny freckles near the temple that had faded during the long winter in the flats.

“You kept her alive,” Julian said.

“Anyone would have—”

“No,” Julian said, cutting her off with a fierce, quiet certainty that made her breath stop. “Arthur wouldn't have. Elena’s brother wouldn't have. They would have looked at the cost of the divers and the terms of the trust, and they would have let the current take her down to the bay.”

He moved his thumb down to her jaw.

“You gave her three years of your life,” Julian said. “You worked sixteen hours a day so she could have the albuterol when she coughed. You carried her four miles in the snow.”

“She was mine,” Nora whispered, and for the first time since he had met her in the study, her hazel eyes filled with tears that did not fall from anger. “For three years, Julian... she was all I had left in the world after Donald went into the hopper.”

“She is still yours,” Julian said.

Ivy stopped swinging her legs against the cupboard. She reached out her small hand, still sticky with apple juice, and grabbed the sleeve of Julian’s white shirt with one hand and the collar of Nora’s green sweater with the other, pulling them half an inch closer together.

“You’re both leaking,” Ivy said.

Julian looked down at the child, and then, for the first time in one thousand one hundred and eighty days, the corners of his mouth turned upward.

It was not a boardroom smile. It was not the cold, sharp grin he used when he took thirty percent of an undercapitalized competitor. It was a broken, crooked, human thing that pulled the scar tissue of his face into unfamiliar lines, making him look five years younger and ten years older all at once.

“We are not leaking, Ivy,” Julian said, his voice shaking with a laughter that had been buried under thirty feet of river mud. “We’re just looking at the bird.”

“The bird is in the pocket,” Ivy said.

May you like

“Then take it out,” Julian told her. “Because tomorrow morning, we have to go back to the river.”

***

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