prologue

Chapter 3 - The Impact and the Deep

The words hung in the humid air like an executioner’s axe.

*She deserves to be a mother more than you do.*

I looked past my mother’s furious, powdered face. Across the flagstone patio, twenty-two people were watching us. My aunt Janice had a paper plate suspended in mid-air, a dollop of potato salad trembling on the edge of her plastic fork. Two of Olivia’s former sorority sisters stood near the mimosa station, their drinks frozen against their lips.

And beneath the pastel balloon arch, seated in her white wicker throne, sat Olivia.

She didn't look horrified by our mother’s words. She looked expectant. Her chin was lifted, her fingers resting lightly across her belly, her mouth curved into the faint, familiar smirk of a child who knew the adults were about to hand her the toy she hadn't earned.

"No," I said.

The word was not loud, but it had the weight of lead.

Eleanor blinked. A muscle beneath her left eye twitched violently. In her entire life, from the day she decided Olivia was the delicate flower and I was the soil meant to be trampled, she had never heard that monosyllable from my mouth without an accompanying apology.

"What did you say?" she whispered, her fingers biting deeper into my bicep.

"I said no," I repeated, looking directly into her pale blue eyes. "My daughter is not paying for Olivia’s mistakes. That money belongs to my child. It belongs to Marcus and me. You will not touch a single cent of it."

"You selfish, arrogant little bitch," Eleanor snarled, her voice dropping into a guttural register I had only heard behind closed doors when I was twelve and refused to give Olivia my science fair ribbon. "You think because Marcus wears a suit and prosecutes shoplifters that you’re better than this family? You wouldn't even have a college degree if your father hadn't co-signed your first loan!"

"I paid that loan off myself!" I pulled my arm backward, wrenching my skin out of her fingernails. "Every dime! With interest! While you paid Olivia’s car notes and Olivia’s rent and Olivia’s credit card bills!"

"You always manage!" Eleanor spat, stepping forward, invading my space again. "You’ve always been tough! Olivia needs help! She has always needed help!"

"Then help her yourself!" My voice cracked across the lawn, raw and furious. "Sell your jewelry! Take a second mortgage on this house! But stop bleeding me! I am done being your sacrifice!"

From the wicker throne, Olivia finally stood up. Her silk dress fluttered. She walked two steps forward, her voice trembling with manufactured pathos.

"You act like eighteen thousand dollars is going to make you rich, Clara," she called out, shaking her head with performative pity. "It’s pocket change to Marcus. But it’s my baby’s home. You’d really let your niece suffer out of spite?"

"It’s not spite, Olivia," I said, turning my head toward her. "It’s called adulthood. You should try it before your child is born."

"Clara Vance!" my father roared from the grill. He set his Scotch down with enough force to crack the granite counter. "You apologize to your sister right now! You don't speak to her like that in this house!"

"This isn't your house anymore, Dad," I said, breathing heavily, the heat radiating up through my sandals. "The bank owns it, and you know it."

Eleanor’s face went entirely white, the skin stretching taut over her cheekbones until she looked like a skull.

"You think you’re better than your sister," she whispered, her hands trembling at her sides. "You think you’re a better woman. A better mother."

"I think I’m responsible for my child," I said. "And right now, the most responsible thing I can do is leave."

I turned on my heel to walk toward the side gate that led to the driveway.

I saw the movement out of the corner of my eye—the white linen sleeve, the flash of gold rings. I thought she was reaching to grab my shoulder. I thought she was going to slap my face, as she had done when I was sixteen and dared to shut my bedroom door.

She didn't slap me.

Eleanor stepped into the turn of her hip, balled her right hand into a tight, bony fist, and drove it directly forward.

Not into my chest. Not into my shoulder.

Directly into the center of my swollen, eight-month pregnant belly.

The sound was a sickening, muffled *thwack*—like meat hitting a butcher’s block.

The pain didn't radiate outward; it imploded. It was an absolute, blinding whiteout of agony that instantly paralyzed my diaphragm. Every nerve ending in my abdomen screamed at once, a tearing, crushing trauma that dropped my jaw open in a silent, airless scream.

My knees instantly buckled. My balance, already precarious from thirty-four weeks of carrying twenty extra pounds, vanished.

My left sandal hit the slick, wet concrete at the pool’s perimeter.

There was no friction. No purchase.

The blue July sky tilted violently upward. The green lawn swung sideways. The horrified face of Aunt Janice smeared into a blur of pastels.

And then, the universe went vertical.

I hit the water backward.

The impact was a concussive shock of cold that forced what little air remained in my lungs out through my nose in a violent burst of bubbles.

Chlorine burned my eyes. The cornflower-blue linen dress, heavy and sodden, wrapped instantly around my thighs like wet lead, pinning my knees together. The weight of my pregnant body pulled me downward, into the deep end, eight feet beneath the summer heat.

My hands clawed frantically at the water, but my core was useless—the blunt-force trauma from Eleanor’s fist had left my abdominal muscles spasming in a violent, locked cramp. I couldn't kick. I couldn't right myself.

Above me, through the wavering, sunlight-fractured surface of the pool, I saw three silhouettes standing at the edge.

My mother, holding her fist against her chest.

My father, stepping up beside her, his hands jammed into his pockets.

And Olivia, watching from five feet back.

Sound carries strangely through water—muffled, hollow, metallic. But the words that cut through the blue silence were unmistakable, etched into my consciousness forever.

"Leave her there," my father’s voice rumbled from above, cold, flat, entirely devoid of human warmth. "Let her think about being selfish."

And then, high and sharp, like glass tinkling against a stone patio, came Olivia’s laughter.

"Maybe now she’ll learn to share."

I sank further. The water pressed against my ears. My chest burned with an agonizing hunger for oxygen. And deep inside my womb, beneath the cold chlorine and the paralyzing ache of the punch, a violent, tearing cramp seized my uterus.

*My baby.*

May you like

I reached toward the shimmering surface, my fingers grasping at empty water, as the darkness began to creep in from the edges of my vision.

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