prologue

Chapter 9 - Inside Passage

The water in the Tracy Arm Fjord was not blue; it was a deep, impossible turquoise, milky with the flour of pulverized granite ground down by ten thousand years of glacial weight. On either side of the ship, the cliffs rose three thousand feet straight out of the sea, their black basalt faces weeping with hundreds of thin, silver threads of melting snow that drifted into mist before they could reach the water below.

The *Disney Wonder* moved through the silence with only the low, distant hum of her electric pods vibrating through the steel hull.

On the private teak verandah of the Concierge Royal Suite on Deck 8, Callie stood with her grandfather’s brass compass resting in her palm. She wore a heavy navy-blue wool pea coat we had bought in a thrift shop in Vancouver, her knitted yellow scarf wrapped twice around her throat, her cheeks stung red by the forty-degree breeze coming off the Dawes Glacier five miles to the north.

Beside her, my father sat in a heavy teak deck chair, a thick wool blanket tucked around his knees, his old hands steady for once as he held a pair of heavy marine binoculars up to his eyes.

“Look there, Callie,” Dad said, his voice a low, gravelly whistle that carried easily in the cold air. He pointed with a blunt forefinger toward a solitary chunk of blue ice drifting fifty yards off the starboard rail. “On the shelf. See that white head?”

Callie raised her camera, the long lens zooming in with a soft, mechanical click.

Perched on the crest of the bergy bit was a mature bald eagle, its yellow talons sunk three inches into the frozen crust, its white cowl ruffled by the wind as it watched a harbor seal slide silently into the turquoise water. The shutter fired four times—a sharp, crisp *snap-snap-snap-snap* that echoed off the granite wall of the fjord.

“Got him,” Callie breathed, her face lighting up with a smile so wide and unburdened it made my throat ache with gratitude. “Grandpa, I got the water drops coming off the seal’s tail!”

Dad let out a soft, wheezing chuckle, his hand coming over to rest on top of Callie’s wool glove. “That’s my girl. Don't let the good things get past you. You’ve got to keep the lens focused on what’s real.”

Inside the suite’s salon, the floor-to-ceiling glass doors were cracked open two inches, letting in the clean, ozone-rich smell of ancient ice. The living room was larger than the entire ground floor of my first apartment on Mountain Avenue: double-height ceilings trimmed in dark mahogany, a dining table laid with white linen and real crystal, and a baby grand piano whose polished lid reflected the slow, majestic drift of the Alaskan cliffs outside.

Mom sat on the curved cream sofa with a mug of hot Earl Grey tea cradled in her hands. She was wearing a soft lavender sweater that Ross had bought her at the port shop in Ketchikan, her reading glasses perched on her nose as she watched Callie and Dad through the glass.

For seventy years, Judy Miller had lived in the shadow of other people’s emergencies. She had spent her twenties keeping my father from breaking down when the union struck the cement plant; she had spent her thirties and forties managing the endless financial wreckage of Grant’s adolescence; and she had spent her sixties being drained dry by a son who viewed her retirement account as an unsecured line of credit.

Now, sitting on the quietest water in the hemisphere, seven hundred miles from the nearest telephone pole, her face was smooth. The deep, vertical groove between her eyebrows—the one that had appeared the day Grant’s truck was repossessed nineteen months ago—had completely vanished.

“Jolene,” she called out softly, not turning her head from the window.

I walked over from the kitchen bar, carrying a plate of warm scones that the concierge host, a gentle man named Julian from South Africa, had delivered twenty minutes earlier with a pot of clotted cream.

“Look at your father,” Mom whispered, her eyes shining with quiet, peaceful moisture. “He hasn't sat still like that since before the tremor started. He told me this morning that this was the first time in ten years he didn't wake up wondering who was going to call with bad news.”

I set the plate on the low table and sat down beside her, pulling the edge of her fleece throw over my legs. “Nobody’s calling, Mom. Cory has the office phone. The car is sitting in the garage in Tucson. There are no liens, no certified letters, and no process servers.”

Mom reached out and took my hand. Her touch was firm now, warm from the porcelain mug.

“Your brother called the house on Saturday night, Jolene,” she said quietly. “Before we drove up to Phoenix.”

My stomach tightened—an involuntary, old reflex—but the cold panic didn't come. “What did he want, Mom?”

“He wanted me to mortgage the house on Columbus to pay his bail,” she said. Her voice didn't waver. There was no grief in it, only the flat, final clarity of an account that had been balanced and closed. “He said Courtney was threatening to leave him, and that he couldn't do six months in the county jail because the other men in the yard knew he was in for a family fraud charge. He said I was his mother, and that a mother doesn't abandon her boy.”

I looked out through the glass to where Callie was showing Dad the LCD screen of her camera, both of them leaning close together over the little blue square of light.

“What did you say to him?” I asked.

Mom took a slow sip of her tea, then set the mug down on the saucer with a small, clear chime of china.

“I told him that I had been his mother for forty-two years,” she said, her eyes fixed on the turquoise water of the fjord. “And that for forty-two years, I had helped him dig holes and then jumped in with him so he wouldn't have to sit in the dark alone. I told him that I was seventy years old now, and that I was finally going to spend the time I had left loving the people who know how to love back.”

She turned to me, her gray eyes clear and deep as the Pacific shelf. “I hung the telephone up on the cradle, Jolene. And then I went into the bedroom and packed my wool socks for the boat.”

The suite door clicked open, and Ross walked in from the private concierge lounge on the deck above. He had a heavy flannel shirt on over his waffle-knit henley, a couple of hot coffees in cardboard sleeves from the private espresso machine, and a rolled-up chart of the Tracy Arm passage tucked under his arm.

He didn't say anything; he just set the coffees down, walked over to where I was sitting, and dropped a kiss onto the crown of my head, his beard scratchy and warm against my hair. He looked out through the glass at Callie and my father, his arm coming down around my shoulders, heavy, solid, and certain.

“Glacier’s coming up around the turn, Jo,” Ross murmured. “Julian says the captain’s going to turn her three hundred and sixty degrees right in front of the ice face so the suite verandahs get the whole view.”

I stood up, took Ross’s hand, and walked out through the heavy glass door onto the teak deck.

The cold air hit us like a baptism—clean, sharp, and smelling of snow that had fallen before the first road was ever paved in the Arizona territory. Callie turned, her eyes bright as polished brass, and grabbed my sleeve with her free hand, pulling me toward the rail.

“Mom! Look at the ice!” she shouted over the low rumble of the engines. “Look how blue it is down at the waterline!”

The *Disney Wonder* glided into the basin at the foot of Dawes Glacier. The wall of ice rose two hundred feet above the water, cracked and crevassed with deep, cobalt caverns that looked like the entrance to another world. A mile across the water, a slab of ice the size of a three-story apartment building broke away from the face with a sound like a cannon shot—a crack so loud and clear it vibrated through the steel of the deck plates under our boots—and tumbled down into the turquoise sea, throwing a white plume of spray eighty feet into the sky.

Callie didn't jump. She didn't look down. She held her camera steady with both hands, her grandfather’s compass swinging gently from the gold chain around her neck, capturing every second of the fall.

Ross held me from behind, his hands crossed over my ribs, his chin resting against the curve of my neck as the ship began its slow, majestic turn through the calm, ice-strewn water. There were no courtrooms here. There were no forged pink slips, no grease-pencil insults on broken glass, no sheet cakes loaded with spite.

May you like

There was only the ice, the water, and the three people who had stood in the storm until the sky broke blue.

***

Related Stories

Other posts